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Hello everyone! I know it has been sooooo very long time since I last updated my blog. Didn't update it for months due to very very tight daily schedule ever since the last updates. Been busy with school attachment and some family matters. Well now then I have the right time to give my blog a proper update.

To start off, I'll just simply recap what I've missed out along the months.. Many things had changed ever since my last update.. I had school attachment from start of October until Dec. But in the few weeks before I ended my attachment, something happened and therefore I didn't manage to complete the 9 weeks of attachment but however I was excused due to valid reason.

On the November 21 it was the horrible day at work for me, came for work and in the afternoon my mum called me saying that my grandmother fell inside the toilet. In the morning I remembered before going to work, I saw my granny in the toilet, she was fine. But yeah, in the afternoon, didn't expect things like this to happen.. And so, I had to leave my workplace and straight go home. Meanwhile I told my mum to bandage my granny's head to prevent the blood flowing.. An hour later I reached home, granny was gone by then, mum said dad followed together to send granny to hospital. Well I was hoping things going to be fine afterwards.. But sadly no.. Told mum to get ready, together with my all my siblings, we took cab to Changi General Hospital. After hours of waiting for doctor to tell us about granny's condition, doctor diagnose her that she had no internal injury from the incident at home(which was good) and the next thing, doctor said she has high blood pressure as well as poor kidney. After all, we're just hoping everything's going to be fine so that she can be discharge earlier. Few hours doctor placed her to the observation room because the wards are all occupied. While she was at the observation room, me and my family went for our dinner for awhile, after dinner, me and my younger brother Farridon went to visit her at the observation room. He sent me this picture of my granny because we went there first before I followed him..

Dear granny, I miss you so much.

She looks perfectly fine here when she was inside the observation room.. But after few hours, she was then sent up to the ward.. By then its like around 9pm plus already.. We all had some chit chat with her, before we all left, I requested the nurse to put more intensive care on my granny. They just had to pull her bed and put it just infront of their counter. My mum and myself were so glad to see how great their service is.. We left the ward about 1030pm.. The next day I didn't come to visit my granny because I was working.. It was few days later then I visited her, but her condition suddenly became worst. Her hands were all bloated together with her legs.

I was partly very pissed off with my aunt because it was said that she gave my granny porridge with red meat and study as shown that red meat will eventually increased the high blood pressure 5-6 times more. So since then granny's condition got worse, doctor diagnose that she had strokes too at the back of her neck which is dangerous because it can get bloated and causes death. After which, doctor said that they need to use tube to suck out all her phlegm. Which is terrible. I was there when the process was carried out. We couldn't see the whole thing but only hear the sounds of it :( With her condition, plus the things that was done at the same time. That was really a hurtful moment. During these period of time, my dad took so much of urgent leave. By right my dad said that the doctor allows my granny to be discharge since her condition is getting better but over the weekend when the doctor was away, this happened. How can I not be emotional for the rest of the week. Few days later, we all visited my granny again. Her condition was helpless, nothing can be done but seeing her lying on her bed and couldn't talk that much, very very weak condition.

From the day she got admitted to hospital, the aura in my room had a sudden changed. She has always been the one taking care of me since I was very young from baby to toddler to childhood years to present. Eventhough these years she isn't that strong, she has always been giving me spirits to never give up. For each time when I played my guitar, from the start, she complimented me saying that I was good eventhough it was just few weeks when I just started learning it. Few months later when I'm much more stable in playing the guitar, she never fails to give me inspiration. Even when I dressed up to go out or for some occasion, she will always give me the honest compliment about how I look like. Miss that alot.

What you see above is how her condition was before she gets much worse. This was like the 5-6 days in the hospital.. Since then, I couldn't be bothered to report to work because there was nobody taking care of mum at home..

My room starting to become much more quieter.. Nobody will always talk with me, nobody will ask me clean my bed and help me arrange my messy things and all. Nobody will ever give me compliment when I dressing up or when I sing and play my guitar..

Few days later, dad decided to call my granny's younger sister and my uncle. They both lived at Malaysia, it was quite fast when they reached at CGH..

After few days staying, my granny's sister decided to go back, well but my granny told her sister not to go back, but unfortunately she did went back home together with my uncle.. Few hours later, we received news that my granny was in critical condition and minutes later doctor called my dad and announced that my granny had passed away. You know the feeling of hearing this kind of things. Because you yourself don't expect this all things to happen. Its like the whole world of you simply collapsed. The things that was used to be, has gone. And eventually you had to adjust to the "new normal". I remembered, before the few days my granny passed away, she did had some quick chat with me about my school, how was it, about all my siblings and my parents.. That was the only time that I managed to talk to her, the last conversation. After then, the next day visiting her, she couldn't even opened her eyes and see me before I left. I simply had to see her for awhile and then left the ward. But knowing that I was the last person that see her last night before she left was a very lucky thing. Boyfriend was there all along for every visit of my granny. I thought that changing of the ward by doctor will better the condition but no. I can't be angry nor sad for this but just had to let go willingly.. Been sleeping with my granny together in the same room since I was young until present. And knowing that she has passed away, left me a very big impact. Everything seems so different without her..

After doctor announced the passed away of my granny, the body was then brought over to my house to overnight. They reached my house around late evening. My aunts all came to help out. Over the night, I didn't have the right place to sleep but then, I remembered about why not take the very last opportunity to sleep beside my late granny this time. The only last time and I'll never be able to sleep again with late granny. When come to the next morning, the things that my boyfriend told me never slipped off my mind, which was to be strong and keep calm. Pray more for her. Well early morning I get myself ready, helped out with the things that was supposed to be done, and when the corpse was ready to be carried over to the mosque, before that, they had this last ceremony at my house. I was just sitting right beside my granny and witnessing each and everyone that gave her the last kiss including myself. As much as I wanted to cry, I tried my very best to hold back whatever tears I had.

In the afternoon, they brought her to the nearest mosque, they went to their friday prayer first, then prayed for my late granny. We all took chartered bus towards the cemetery except for my dad. He didn't followed us to the mosque because nobody look after my house and since there's some people coming over, he stayed there and decided not to join us. The minute we reached the place, the weather was very cooling and cloudy eventhough it looks like as if its going to rain.. The whole process took about few hours and by 430pm we're back to my hometown. The feeling of losing someone and never get to see it again is bad but I keep myself strong with prayers and recitations.

I'll never forget November 29, 2012.

Okay, nothing much from my pictures above, I'm just going to miss my bedroom. The place where it has been my personal studio shoot =D New house I want to make more better one, put TV and consoles ^_^

This one below was just a dinner at Nex Seoul Garden, boyfriend treated my family. Very good dinner. It was few weeks after the passed away of my late granny..

Below here is my boyfriend, Zen. Grew up boy. HAHAHAHA! I think I love his eyes ^_^ This one was taken at Nasi Ayam Penyet Ria at Far East. HAHA!

Smile only this boy xD

Just random pictures of me. Hehe

Okay this two pictures below was the part we preparing to move out. Bye bye to my bedroom and my lovely house. I have a tour of my house video but shall not upload it here. HAHA!

A month later after granny passed away, my family decided to move house..

Hi! This one is me. While waiting for boyfriend, I went to take some pictures of myself after work. HAHA! Boyfriend workplace is soooo convenient.

Alright, so to close up this long essay post, thanks for reading it. Eventhough it has been months since I last updated my blog. I'll keep updating this blog often, no worries. Because I'll be graduating soon anyway. So most probably my time will be as usual, I'll have time to blog and all. Now I'm happy a lil bit because just now I managed to complete two stations of the napfa with A. There's 4 more stations to go but the teacher told my classmate to continue on the tuesday. Hopefully I can get the gold since only gold then can get the shirt. I want the shirt!!! HAHAHHAAH! It's my last three months in school, so I must make full use of my time inside this school.

Oh yes, soon there'll be some flashmob meeting next week. I can't wait to join them.

Takecare guys!


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